Fears

I've been trying to stay so hopeful and positive about this pregnancy, but from time to time, the fears and worries creep in.

I'm so afraid this will be another ectopic pregnancy.  I'm afraid we'll lose this one too.  I'm afraid our ultrasound will show nothing at all.  I'm afraid it will show another baby in my tube.  I'm afraid I'll always be stuck with this damaged tube and I'll have to worry with every pregnancy I have for the rest of my life.  I'm afraid I'll never get to have a baby of my own.  I'm afraid Shannon will say he's done and we can't try anymore.  I'm afraid I'll never get past 8 weeks pregnant.  Then I'm afraid I will and we'll have a late loss of some kind.  I'm afraid that all our interventions won't have made a difference and we'll still be back to square one again.  I'm afraid I'll have to watch everyone else around me get pregnant and have happy, healthy babies with no problems at all.

It feels good to get all of those fears out.  There is little I can do to change any of these.  I just have to trust that things will work out as they should.  I just have to keep talking to my precious little miracle and appreciating our time together, no matter how long or short that time might be.

I love you, baby, and will do everything I can to keep you safe and protected inside me.