Monday, January 31, 2011
First laugh
Sweet Pea laughed for the first time tonight. I was getting her ready for bathtime and this always makes her happy. She can be so fussy, but once we walk back to her bedroom and I start getting her undressed, she just smiles away. Tonight she was lying on the floor and I tickled her tummy. She smiled. Then the smile got bigger and bigger until she laughed! I had to call Shannon into the room to see how utterly adorable her little bitty laugh was. Oh man, we're in trouble. This little girl has us wrapped around her teeny tiny finger. And we wouldn't have it any other way...
Post-Surgery
Sweet Pea had her surgery to put her tubes in her ears this morning. It went really well overall, minimal crying for the most part. The surgery itself only took about 20-30 minutes, which was a relief, but all the prep time and waiting was exhausting. I've been up since 3:30 this morning when Sweet Pea decided she was hungry and was very mad that we could not give her anything. I finally soothed her back to sleep with a pacifier (which she normally wants nothing to do with), but she stayed restless until we were driving in the car where she really fell asleep again. She hated it when the nurse took her vital signs and cried for quite a while after that. When they called us back to the recovery room after her surgery, before we could even get in the room we could hear her just screaming away. They finally let us give her some sugar water which placated her for a few minutes, then they eventually just gave in and let us give her a little formula even though they don't like to do that in recovery. She finally calmed down and gave us a smile then. Since we got home, she's mostly been sleeping and was thrilled when I finally let her drink a whole bottle.
I really started to feel more like a parent in going through this. We were the ones she was looking to for comfort. We are the ones who know what she likes and doesn't like (although we're definitely still learning on that front). When we were sitting in the waiting room while she was in surgery, Shannon turned to me and said, "That felt really weird just handing her over to someone else and just walking away." She's starting to feel like part of us. Equally amazing and scary at the same time. I can't wait to see what kind of effect the surgery has on her hearing, to see her grow and change knowing she's safely surrounded by our love and protection.
I really started to feel more like a parent in going through this. We were the ones she was looking to for comfort. We are the ones who know what she likes and doesn't like (although we're definitely still learning on that front). When we were sitting in the waiting room while she was in surgery, Shannon turned to me and said, "That felt really weird just handing her over to someone else and just walking away." She's starting to feel like part of us. Equally amazing and scary at the same time. I can't wait to see what kind of effect the surgery has on her hearing, to see her grow and change knowing she's safely surrounded by our love and protection.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
The first week
It's hard to believe Sweet Pea has already been here with us for over a week. Things have still gone really smoothly for the most part. Sure, I've had completely overwhelmed and stressed times, but overall it's truly been a joy to have her here.
I've spent a lot of time on the phone, setting up doctor's appointment and getting everything of hers switched over to our address. It's funny-- usually I hate having to call people on the phone, but when it's for her I don't even think twice about it. I took her to a pediatrician appointment Friday to establish her as a new patient. We were there forever with them asking all about her history and medical needs. Luckily I have a lot of that, but there is so much paperwork that it's damn near impossible to find the exact thing they're asking for at any given moment. It was reassuring to hear that they didn't have any major concerns about her at this time other than her weight, so we're putting her on a higher calorie formula (which she gets free(!) and should be delivered right to our house next week). Sweet Pea was a good sport through it all, but finally melted down at the end. She had just fallen asleep when the nurse came in to give her two shots. So as we're leaving, there's me trying to carry all of our stuff with Sweet Pea just screaming away from being so tired and just having gotten shots and having a dirty diaper too. We could not get out of there fast enough. I felt exhausted afterward, but still had so much to do that I couldn't hardly think straight. Thank goodness my mom was here all day, to help with the babies and to just give me a bit of a break. I cannot even begin to express what a lifesaver she has already been through all of this.
This weekend has seemed quiet and peaceful with just having one baby here. I'm watching Sweet Pea sleeping in her swing and she looks so adorable. I've continued to be amazed with the generosity of our friends and family. Our house looks like Babies R Us exploded in here. Before we got Sweet Pea, some friends had talked about throwing a baby shower, but it doesn't even look like we need anything right now. I wouldn't even know what to register for and that is such a blessing. People keep coming by to meet Sweet Pea and bringing us clothes, diapers, everything you could imagine. I think the only money I have spent on her so far was to buy some vitamins. Everything else just appears here and we soooo appreciate it.
We'll be taking Sweet Pea to have tubes put in her ears tomorrow morning. I'm mostly nervous about this because she can't have anything to eat after midnight tonight. We have to be at the hospital at 6:30am and the surgery is at 8am. I know when she is hungry, there is no distracting her or calming her without feeding her. Should be interesting. I plan to try to feed her at 11:30 tonight whether she's awake or not and just hope for the best. I'm really interested to see the effects of the surgery too. She's having it done because she's failed several hearing tests. We can tell she can hear some, but not well. I've read she may be really overwhelmed or bothered by noises at first afterward. She is such a good, sound sleeper now-- I hope we don't lose that. Hopefully it all goes smoothly. Wish us luck!
I've spent a lot of time on the phone, setting up doctor's appointment and getting everything of hers switched over to our address. It's funny-- usually I hate having to call people on the phone, but when it's for her I don't even think twice about it. I took her to a pediatrician appointment Friday to establish her as a new patient. We were there forever with them asking all about her history and medical needs. Luckily I have a lot of that, but there is so much paperwork that it's damn near impossible to find the exact thing they're asking for at any given moment. It was reassuring to hear that they didn't have any major concerns about her at this time other than her weight, so we're putting her on a higher calorie formula (which she gets free(!) and should be delivered right to our house next week). Sweet Pea was a good sport through it all, but finally melted down at the end. She had just fallen asleep when the nurse came in to give her two shots. So as we're leaving, there's me trying to carry all of our stuff with Sweet Pea just screaming away from being so tired and just having gotten shots and having a dirty diaper too. We could not get out of there fast enough. I felt exhausted afterward, but still had so much to do that I couldn't hardly think straight. Thank goodness my mom was here all day, to help with the babies and to just give me a bit of a break. I cannot even begin to express what a lifesaver she has already been through all of this.
This weekend has seemed quiet and peaceful with just having one baby here. I'm watching Sweet Pea sleeping in her swing and she looks so adorable. I've continued to be amazed with the generosity of our friends and family. Our house looks like Babies R Us exploded in here. Before we got Sweet Pea, some friends had talked about throwing a baby shower, but it doesn't even look like we need anything right now. I wouldn't even know what to register for and that is such a blessing. People keep coming by to meet Sweet Pea and bringing us clothes, diapers, everything you could imagine. I think the only money I have spent on her so far was to buy some vitamins. Everything else just appears here and we soooo appreciate it.
We'll be taking Sweet Pea to have tubes put in her ears tomorrow morning. I'm mostly nervous about this because she can't have anything to eat after midnight tonight. We have to be at the hospital at 6:30am and the surgery is at 8am. I know when she is hungry, there is no distracting her or calming her without feeding her. Should be interesting. I plan to try to feed her at 11:30 tonight whether she's awake or not and just hope for the best. I'm really interested to see the effects of the surgery too. She's having it done because she's failed several hearing tests. We can tell she can hear some, but not well. I've read she may be really overwhelmed or bothered by noises at first afterward. She is such a good, sound sleeper now-- I hope we don't lose that. Hopefully it all goes smoothly. Wish us luck!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Sweetest sound
I know I need to write a longer post, but I'm sitting here listening to Sweet Pea and Cash (the now 5 month old baby of my friend who I watch during the day). They are both laying on the quilt in our living room, just "talking" away, blowing bubbles with their mouths and happily kicking their feet. Their little "conversation" just might be the sweetest sound in the world...
Friday, January 21, 2011
The first 24 hours
Well, she's actually here. They actually brought us a baby girl. And left her here for us to take care of indefinitely. I keep feeling like someone will be coming to pick her up anytime now, like she's not really ours. I know I'd read about this in adoption books-- the feeling like you're babysitting, especially here at first.
Things are really going smoothly so far. She only got up once during the night and that was only because she couldn't stay awake for her 10pm bottle, so she was starving by 2am. Due to the nature of the situation, obviously I cannot reveal her real name, but I think I'll call her Sweet Pea on here for now. She is 7 months old, but is the teenist, tiniest thing ever-- only 10 pounds and still wearing 0-3 month clothes! She has some special medical needs that we knew about when we accepted the placement, but then found out they were a little more extensive once she got here. So far it seems pretty manageable, but it looks like we will be driving her to doctors appointments often.
Shannon has been so sweet with her and that is such a relief to see. I know he didn't really want just a baby or a girl, but we all knew he'd fall in love with her once he saw her. It's so special to see him embracing this role of daddy so easily and joyfully.
We have been so blessed, not only by having her here in our home, but by so many who have reached out to help us already. She was in a group foster home for the past several months after recuperating from heart surgery and they sent sooo much stuff with her. Clothes, toys, stuffed animals, diapers, formula, you name it. And they kept an awesome history of everything she's had done and her needs, etc-- they called it our bible and we've been checking it often! Shannon went to pick up all the baby stuff from his cousin yesterday afternoon-- crib, stroller/car seat system with base, highchair, bouncer, clothes, etc. And his other cousin wants to give us all of their baby stuff too! I can't even begin to express how much all this means to me. My mom, of course, came over and spent the afternoon and evening with us. She has been right there with me through all of this crazy rollercoaster journey and I couldn't imagine someone more overjoyed to meet our little Sweet Pea. Even Shannon's parents came over to meet her-- they oohed and aahed and even held her. They kept calling Shannon and me "Daddy and Mommy", which honestly I have mixed feelings about for now. It's hard to put in to words, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to go there yet.
Things are really going smoothly so far. She only got up once during the night and that was only because she couldn't stay awake for her 10pm bottle, so she was starving by 2am. Due to the nature of the situation, obviously I cannot reveal her real name, but I think I'll call her Sweet Pea on here for now. She is 7 months old, but is the teenist, tiniest thing ever-- only 10 pounds and still wearing 0-3 month clothes! She has some special medical needs that we knew about when we accepted the placement, but then found out they were a little more extensive once she got here. So far it seems pretty manageable, but it looks like we will be driving her to doctors appointments often.
Shannon has been so sweet with her and that is such a relief to see. I know he didn't really want just a baby or a girl, but we all knew he'd fall in love with her once he saw her. It's so special to see him embracing this role of daddy so easily and joyfully.
We have been so blessed, not only by having her here in our home, but by so many who have reached out to help us already. She was in a group foster home for the past several months after recuperating from heart surgery and they sent sooo much stuff with her. Clothes, toys, stuffed animals, diapers, formula, you name it. And they kept an awesome history of everything she's had done and her needs, etc-- they called it our bible and we've been checking it often! Shannon went to pick up all the baby stuff from his cousin yesterday afternoon-- crib, stroller/car seat system with base, highchair, bouncer, clothes, etc. And his other cousin wants to give us all of their baby stuff too! I can't even begin to express how much all this means to me. My mom, of course, came over and spent the afternoon and evening with us. She has been right there with me through all of this crazy rollercoaster journey and I couldn't imagine someone more overjoyed to meet our little Sweet Pea. Even Shannon's parents came over to meet her-- they oohed and aahed and even held her. They kept calling Shannon and me "Daddy and Mommy", which honestly I have mixed feelings about for now. It's hard to put in to words, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to go there yet.
There is a pretty good chance we may get to keep her. Obviously, there are no guarantees in all this, but the plan is to terminate parents' rights next month. There doesn't seem to be any family willing/able to help so far, so we'll see. It's hard not to, but I'm trying not to focus on the future right now. I just want to enjoy and appreciate this tiny little human being that has come into our lives and needs us to love on her for now.
Sweet Pea just napping away :)
Thursday, January 20, 2011
And here we go!
We are getting a baby girl today!!! We got the call from Danielle last night, then Shannon and I spent over an hour discussing whether this was right for us. He, in particular, has had a sibling group in mind from the beginning. And he's had his heart set on an older child or at least a boy. But in the end, we made the decision based on my gut feelings-- it just broke my heart to even think of not taking her. Now I'm just waiting to hear from Danielle this morning to see when she'll be here today. I can't even describe the excitement, fear, anxiety and anticipation as we wait for our life to change forever today!
Friday, January 7, 2011
Considered
I just got an email from our case manager saying a caseworker had inquired about us for three little girls. Twin four-year-olds and their almost five-year-old sister. Attached a picture of them and everything. Shannon and I talked about it and came to the conclusion that we're not the right match for these girls. I have my heart set on a baby/toddler and Shannon really wants a boy. Not to mention the handful that 3 four-year-old girls could be. It was hard to say no to our first offer, but this is just what feels right for us right now. I had hoped we could maybe get kids today. That way we'd have the weekend at home with them together. And I have a 5% coupon for Target that expires Monday-- that would be perfect for getting all the stuff we'll need for kiddos. But we have to be patient. I have to tell myself that we'll know when it's right. Right?
Monday, January 3, 2011
Verified
We met with our case manager tonight to sign contracts. We are officially verfied as foster/adopt parents and could get kids any day now. It could be as quick as tomorrow. Wow. It just feels so right that I can't imagine what took us so long to get to this point. I know this path isn't for everyone, but I'm feeling blessed that we found our way here.
Danielle (our case manager) asked us if we want her to notify us every time she submits us for kids or just when we've been selected. Shannon took one look at me and said just when we're chosen. I agree. She said she'd started submitting us last week once our homestudy was approved and even emailed us about some kids she submitted us for today. It was for twin 16-month-old boys and I immediately started dreaming about a life with them. Their parents' rights have already been terminated and they're looking for a permanent home for them. I know there's only a slim chance we would be selected because there could be many people submitting for them, but I can't help but think about them. This is why we should not know until we are chosen. I'm already in Target in my mind buying things for these boys.
Either way, life is about to change at our house forever in a huge way.
Danielle (our case manager) asked us if we want her to notify us every time she submits us for kids or just when we've been selected. Shannon took one look at me and said just when we're chosen. I agree. She said she'd started submitting us last week once our homestudy was approved and even emailed us about some kids she submitted us for today. It was for twin 16-month-old boys and I immediately started dreaming about a life with them. Their parents' rights have already been terminated and they're looking for a permanent home for them. I know there's only a slim chance we would be selected because there could be many people submitting for them, but I can't help but think about them. This is why we should not know until we are chosen. I'm already in Target in my mind buying things for these boys.
Either way, life is about to change at our house forever in a huge way.
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