Positive!!

Oh my goodness.  It actually happened.  I'm pregnant!!!

Last night I was sure my period was coming when I had a tiny bit of spotting.  And my cramps seemed to be getting worse.  So I just went ahead and took an Aleve and a Benadryl, put on a pad and went to bed.  But my period never came during the night and the cramps went away.  Starting to wonder again...  When I took my temp this morning, it was still up.  Really getting curious now...  I was still sure I would get my period any time now, but decided to take a test just to confirm it one way or another.  I completely prepared myself for yet another disappointment, but decided I just needed to know.  And lo and behold, the test says "PREGNANT"!!  I climbed back in bed with Shannon to tell him the news.  Even through his sleepiness, I could tell he was thrilled.

So now a whole new adventure begins.  I've been through the beginning stages before, but it will be different now that I'm seeing an RE.  I'll call them today to see what they say, but I imagine I'll have to start on Heparin right away, which I am definitely anxious about.  And we'll start the well-known dance of the labwork.  And then we wait...

I'm feeling very excited but super nervous about this one.  With all the interventions I'm doing now, will it really change the outcome?  Will we really actually get a baby this time?  All I've known is loss and sadness at the end of a pregnancy-- will we get to experience joy this time instead?

For now, I'm going to do my best to just appreciate this little miracle.  To love it and talk to it and take care of it the best I can in the moment without worrying about what the future holds.  Because no matter the outcome, this is my baby and I'm thrilled to have it here in our lives now.