Path

Yesterday, in preparation for a grief camp I'm helping to coordinate, our planning committee went to walk a labyrinth.  If you've never done this, I highly recommend it.  It's supposed to be a spiritual, meditative experience, but I had a hard time getting out of my head.  Even while I was walking I was thinking about writing about the experience.  (Hmm... I think that is very telling of my personality-- more likely to want to write about/observe an experience than to be able to fully feel it in the moment...)  Nonetheless, it was such an amazing thing to do and such a great metaphor for life/grief.  With all its twists and turns along the way, it tends to make you feel disoriented and lost from time to time.  But then if you just focus on the path, it's very centering and calming.  The interactions with others around me were also interesting.  Sometimes you pass someone going the opposite direction; sometimes you happen to be walking along side a friend for a bit before one of you turns off on your own.  Everyone goes at their own pace, creating a uinque experience for each individual.  If that's not a complete parallel to this journey I'm on, I don't know what is...

I got my results today from my most recent thyroid labwork.  My level has continued to go down as we'd hoped, so we got the definite green light to start trying again.  It's at a pretty good level and the RE didn't seem concerned, but from what all I've read, it would be better for it to be even lower to achieve/maintain a healthy pregnancy.  I'm trying not to obsess over that.  Shannon said something the other day about not knowing if he'd want to continue if we had another loss.  I think I could handle a little more, but not much.  So no pressure or anything...  And now I just wait to ovulate, which is already late this month.  Relaxing and just letting things happen is so much easier said than done.  I know what I need to do.  Take a cue from the labyrinth and just focus on the path and enjoy the journey along the way.  Now if I could just convince my over-thinking mind...