Poor baby

Poor Sweet Pea was sick most of our trip to California.  She got a fever the first morning we were there and it stuck around the entire rest of the time we were there until finally breaking late last night once we were home.  She and I weren't even able to go to my brother's graduation, which is why we traveled all the way there.  It was stressful to say the least to have a sick baby away from home.  She's had a couple of colds since we've had her, but never a fever before.  I worried like I'd never taken care of a sick child before.  I took her temperature obsessively.  I debated whether we should take her to the doctor out there.  It had never crossed my mind before that might be difficult.  I'd never thought about the fact that her Texas Medicaid might not be accepted in another state.  When I called Medicaid to ask them about it, they basically said I'd have to take her to an ER and hope they had a contract with Texas Medicaid.  I talked with nurses from Medicaid and Sweet Pea's pediatrician's office and finally decided not to take her in.  I'm still waiting to see if we try to make an appointment for her tomorrow.  Her fever is gone, but she still has a nasty cough and yucky nose.  Her cough is so bad sometimes that it makes her throw up, which has already happened half a dozen times since we've been home the past 24 hours.  But then she'll just smile and play like nothing's wrong.  It's tough being the parent, being the decision-maker for a sick little one.  It definitely makes me feel like even more of a parent, caring for her while she isn't feeling well.  She clearly looks to me for comfort.

She did great on the airplane though.  On the way out there, they offered to seat us in a row with an extra seat so we would have additional room, which made a world of difference.  We could have Sweet Pea just sit inbetween us for some of the flight and not have to hold a squirming baby the whole time.  She napped and was generally pleasant on both flights, even on the way back when she wasn't feeling great.  Such a trooper.  I couldn't have done it without my mom though. I know people do it all the time, but I can't imagine traveling on my own with a baby/child.

We had a good time otherwise in California.  It was great to see my brother, sister-in-law and nephew.  My nephew quickly warmed to me again.  It always feels good to see that we do have a bond even though we live far apart.  Just about everytime I left the room, he was asking for "Ninny?" which is what he calls me.  Melts my heart.

Everyone loved Sweet Pea.  I knew they would, but it meant so much to me nonetheless.  She liked my brother right away-- I think it's because he has a beard like Shannon so she felt comfortable with him.  She and my nephew Henry loved each other and were so cute together.  My brother and his wife are pregnant again and hoping this one is a girl, so I know spending time with our little Sweet Pea was extra special to them.  She's such a special part of our family and I was so glad to be able to introduce her to them.

I can't imagine our family without her anymore, which is both comforting and frightening at the same time.  We're just about two months away from the scheduled court date for the termination of her parents' rights.  It feels good that it's getting closer, but I know so much could possibly still happen in that time frame.  I'll be so glad to be past all this waiting and wondering one day.