Now or never

I'm going to a fertility doctor this afternoon. It's actually the same doctor I saw a few years ago with pregnancy #4, but she now has an office in my small town so I don't have to go to the bigger city to see her. I'm nervous about it. I have already decided I want to try to get pregnant one more time. I don't want to do IVF, but I want to do whatever else we can to help ensure that this one could be successful.

I've been going to an endocrinologist for the past few months and that has been the most encouraging thing of all. The more I read about hypothyroidism, the more I realize that I have been having symptoms for years! I'm pretty positive that my first pregnancy triggered my hypothyroidism. That was the strongest of all my babies, the one that refused to give up, the one that could have made it if it had just been implanted in my uterus. No pregnancy since that has been so strong. Even the ones that we saw heartbeats for. Those ones always measured a little small, the heartbeat was a little slow, etc.

The endocrinologist did lots of bloodwork from the beginning and finally gave me some answers. I have Hashimoto's disease, which is an autoimmune disorder that causes the hypothyroidism. I had an extreme Vitamin B deficiency and also a Vitamin D deficiency. All of these are linked to recurrent miscarriages. My endocrinologist immediately upped my thyroid dosage and put me on major prescription vitamins. And I am feeling so much better. It's been so many years of this now that it's hard to say if I'm back to "normal", but definitely better. Not so tired all the time, much more energy, starting to lose weight and gain strength. Very encouraging.

So it feels like it's now or never if I'm going to try again. I turned 35 this year, so it would already be a "high risk" pregnancy even without all my other losses. My thyroid level is so low now that I have even been having hyperthyroid symptoms (heart racing, hot flashes, etc.) I can't even drink a Coke now without feeling jumpy for the rest of the day, but I guess that's a good thing since I've been trying to give up caffeine for years. From everything I've read, it's best for my TSH to be as close to zero as possible when trying to conceive and stay pregnant. My TSH was .3 at my last appointment. So now or never, right?