The first 24 hours

Well, she's actually here.  They actually brought us a baby girl.  And left her here for us to take care of indefinitely.  I keep feeling like someone will be coming to pick her up anytime now, like she's not really ours.  I know I'd read about this in adoption books-- the feeling like you're babysitting, especially here at first.

Things are really going smoothly so far.  She only got up once during the night and that was only because she couldn't stay awake for her 10pm bottle, so she was starving by 2am.  Due to the nature of the situation, obviously I cannot reveal her real name, but I think I'll call her Sweet Pea on here for now.  She is 7 months old, but is the teenist, tiniest thing ever-- only 10 pounds and still wearing 0-3 month clothes!  She has some special medical needs that we knew about when we accepted the placement, but then found out they were a little more extensive once she got here.  So far it seems pretty manageable, but it looks like we will be driving her to doctors appointments often.

Shannon has been so sweet with her and that is such a relief to see.  I know he didn't really want just a baby or a girl, but we all knew he'd fall in love with her once he saw her.  It's so special to see him embracing this role of daddy so easily and joyfully.

We have been so blessed, not only by having her here in our home, but by so many who have reached out to help us already.  She was in a group foster home for the past several months after recuperating from heart surgery and they sent sooo much stuff with her.  Clothes, toys, stuffed animals, diapers, formula, you name it.  And they kept an awesome history of everything she's had done and her needs, etc-- they called it our bible and we've been checking it often!  Shannon went to pick up all the baby stuff from his cousin yesterday afternoon-- crib, stroller/car seat system with base, highchair, bouncer, clothes, etc.  And his other cousin wants to give us all of their baby stuff too!  I can't even begin to express how much all this means to me.  My mom, of course, came over and spent the afternoon and evening with us.  She has been right there with me through all of this crazy rollercoaster journey and I couldn't imagine someone more overjoyed to meet our little Sweet Pea.  Even Shannon's parents came over to meet her-- they oohed and aahed and even held her.  They kept calling Shannon and me "Daddy and Mommy", which honestly I have mixed feelings about for now.  It's hard to put in to words, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to go there yet.

There is a pretty good chance we may get to keep her.  Obviously, there are no guarantees in all this, but the plan is to terminate parents' rights next month.  There doesn't seem to be any family willing/able to help so far, so we'll see.  It's hard not to, but I'm trying not to focus on the future right now.  I just want to enjoy and appreciate this tiny little human being that has come into our lives and needs us to love on her for now.

Sweet Pea just napping away  :)