Growth

I was just sitting here, thinking how much I've grown and healed in the past year.  In all absurdity, the thing that has called this to my attention most lately is that Shannon has gotten the newest edition of one of his favorite video games.  It's violent and graphic and he loves it.  I was just realizing that before, the release of this video game often has happend to coincide with our pregnancy losses.  And this game is one major way Shannon dealt with it all-- he played for hours on end, hunting people down and shooting them.  Doesn't sound pleasant, but hey, we all have our paths through grief, right?

So in the past, he'd be here like he is now playing this violent game and I'd be here on my computer, most likely looking up reasons to solve why I lost this pregnancy or what I can do better next time.  But thankfully, I'm not in that place this time around, far from it.  I realized the other day that I haven't even looked at the websites from the online support groups that I used to check several times a day.  I'm not that sad, grieving girl anymore.  Sure, I still have my sad days, but they are very few and far between lately.  And that feels so good to finally be able to say.