Blah

Feeling kinda blah today... Guess it's the weather-- too many gloomy, drizzly days for me. I'm ready for summer to be here again. I feel much more myself on a hot, sunny day in my shorts and flip flops than on a day like today.

Had another RE appointment today. More bloodwork, then an SHG (or saline ultrasound). Previously, I had asked about this procedure and how much it might hurt. I knew it wasn't quite as involved as the HSG I'd had, but man, I definitely remember that hurting and wasn't looking forward in a repeat of that. So for this, the nurse said I might experience a little discomfort and I could maybe take some Tylenol beforehand if I wanted. Well, that was quite an understatement! There was A LOT of major cramping every time she injected the saline. Luckily it didn't last too long and I feel fine now, but I did not feel prepared for that.

This appointment felt so invasive, yet impersonal. During others ultrasounds there, they would point out this and that to me, letting me know what they see. This time, nothing. But I could tell she thought she was seeing something not good because she kept looking in the same spot. Then she asked the tech to freeze the picture and sent her to go get the other doctor "for a second opinion". I was trying to stay calm here, but part of me was starting to freak out. (Thinking back, it reminded me of the ultrasound when my ectopic was finally diagnosed. The looking and looking without saying anything, the sending out for a second opinion...) So there I lay on the exam table with the catheter in my uterus and the probe in my vagina, waiting and waiting. Kinda awkward to say the least. Finally I had to ask what she was seeing that she was concerned about. She said something like she thought she saw some compression of my uterus. I was thinking "Hello! I'm feeling compression every time you shoot that saline in me! What's the problem here??" Then the second doctor comes in and now we have a room full of people looking at my uterus. Oh, the self-consciousness just has to go now. Turns out there was not a problem after all, just the angle of the probe or something, but still... How much more can there be wrong?

So now I'll be going back Wednesday for another ultrasound, but thankfully not a saline one this time. Not sure if Shannon will go with me to this one. He had to work today, so I went alone and that was fine. I know he hates doctors and I want him to be excited and on board with this whole baby/fertility thing. I guess I'll just give him the choice and let him decide. The saga continues...