Another good day today. I have the same good, balanced feeling again tonight. I was able to really connect with one of my clients today after she'd been struggling for weeks and adjusting to a big transition. The session just flowed and I didn't have to feel like I was trying to make it work; it just worked. I won't lie. Not all of these past two days have been sunshine and roses. I've still had clients run away from me, roll their eyes when I walk in or tell me "You know, I've had a lot of therapists and it's all been a waste of time. You'll be no different." But, at the end of the day, I still feel good about my job and the choices I made.
The best part of the day was getting to spend time with my family this evening once I got home. Especially Payton. A lot of times when I get home late, she's already asleep or in full meltdown mode. But tonight I had such a pleasant time with her. I felt like we really connected and it was good. It's amazing we can have actual conversations now. I was able to be my old, patient self and really just sit and give her my entire attention. I honestly didn't even want to put her to bed. We were having such a nice time together. Even in the middle of it, I was thinking how happy I was to be experiencing this and that this is what I'd imagined when I wanted to have kids, what I'd longed for.
I can't say what exactly was different these past two days. I have been trying to exercise more, so that could be having a positive effect. Whatever it is, I am grateful for the experience. I hope I can hold on to this feeling and have it continue to shine through me.
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