Remembering

Today should have been the due date for pregnancy #3.  This was the blighted ovum, the only one of the babies I never got to see at all, the only one we never saw a heartbeat or anything.  It's definitely on my mind, but I don't feel so overwhelmingly sad as I have for other due dates in the past.  I feel like I've finally come to a sense of peace about these losses, like they were all part of our journey to get us to "our kids", whether our kids end up being foster or adopted or even biological one day.  Each pregnancy was special in its own way, but losing each one was a step on our path to where we're meant to be, to the children we were meant to have in our home all along.  It feels so good to write these words and to really mean it.  After so long and so much pain, it's so good to be feelin' good again.