Tough

Tough Mommy day today. We went to the park for a playdate with my mommy's group. We did a Christmas craft and she was so calm and quiet and well-behaved. We went to play on the playground and she was fine. Until she wasn't. Not sure what set her off, but she was screaming (not just crying a little, literally screaming at the top of her lungs) up on the playscape and wouldn't calm down. I tried going up there. Didn't help. Finally had to carry her off to the car still screaming, now kicking and hitting and biting too. Just a little embarrassing in front of all the other moms...

She screamed the entire way home. She screamed for me to turn the music off. I did. She kept screaming. So I turned the music way up. Still screaming.

I vowed I would stay calm in the situation. Reluctantly, I didn't. She kept screaming and kicking and hitting and spitting all the way inside. I got everything ready for naptime and she kept screaming. Needless to say, it didn't end well. I ended up in tears too and with a fat, bloody lip.

But now she's sleeping. Fell right to sleep. I don't know how she could have been so tired when we slept in this morning. She's definitely sleeping and eating more this past week, so we keep saying she must be growing.

We have so many pleasant moments. When she decides to be in a good mood, she is so much fun and we have the best time together.

This past hour was not our best moment. We had another bad morning last week when I had planned to put up and decorate the Christmas tree. I was in tears by the time by mom came over to help us.

I hate feeling like a bad mom. Like I'm failing my daughter.

I hope this afternoon goes more smoothly...